August 2006 -- Question: I have observed that the youth at our tennis club like to model others in one way or another. It could be hitting a stroke a certain way, preparing to serve or, especially, learning how to handle themselves off the court. In your opinion, what is the role of mentoring and being a role model as a member of USPTA?
Answer: This could be one of the most important questions we, as teaching professionals, have to answer so this short column is intended to create a greater discussion. First, let me say that we are role models and we should be mentoring someone all the time. In fact, each of us should have a mentor at most of the stages of our life.
One of the most well-known phrases ever said by NBA Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley was, “I am not a role model.” Now, I am a Charles Barkley fan. I loved watching him play and I think he is funny and quick-witted as a TV commentator. But, I disagree with him here. He was, and still is, whether he wants to be or not, a role model. We are all role models in one way or another. If one is in a position of influence, that person is a role model. A professional tennis teacher is certainly in a position of influence. And, with that comes responsibility! But, for our purposes right now, I would prefer to open a discussion on mentoring.
A mentor is defined in the dictionary as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. The question for all of us is: Do we have to be a licensed counselor to help someone grow? Absolutely not! Everywhere that you read about human development, you see that a person should “learn” from a confident mentor. How else do people grow and make decisions about how to live their lives?
In 1983 and ’84, I had the great fortune to work with the Chicago White Sox baseball team. We were shooting high-speed film, examining batting and base-running techniques among major league athletes. A wonderful story unfolded in 1983 at an instructional league camp with John Boles, the manager of the White Sox farm club. I heard Boles say once that, “Whatever you do with your players, you must put your heart into it.” It was obvious that Boles did just that, especially with one young man who had been in a hitting slump. The same day, this young protégé hit a home run. Boles was the third base coach and, as this young star rounded third base in his home run trot, he pointed at Boles, and yelled excitedly, “That’s you, coach! That’s you!” He was obviously referring to his home run blast and giving Boles the credit for helping him get to that point.
Here are a few steps a tennis teacher could take:
Live life in their shoes. Before ever giving advice, be sure you understand what your protégé is experiencing. The No. 1 complaint from subordinates about their bosses is that, “My boss doesn’t know what my life is like.” Wherever this perception comes from, it is real. It could be that the boss isn’t viewed as getting in the trenches, or the boss could be viewed as a total strategy person with no “feelings” for the worker bees, or it could be any combination of the above. So, teachers must always ask themselves, “What are these students experiencing? How are they feeling about those line calls, the lack of progress they might be making, the pressure they feel to compete, etc.?
Be other-focused. People who focus on themselves miss the big picture. We, as teachers, must avoid “me-first” thinking. When you focus on others, you foster harmony. There becomes recognition that both you and your student can affect outcomes and make decisions. Mutual respect is an offshoot and growth is natural.
Encourage people and build them up. Acknowledge your students and their hard work. Give without expecting something back. Insightful instruction provides your students with opportunities to learn (not only tennis but lessons in life). If you are a great mentor, you will always help people become comfortable within themselves.
Give the truth, but give truth with caring and respect. Many of us have to work with parents who might push their children or with players who have unrealistic expectations of themselves. It is a skill to help these people grasp reality, yet continue to encourage their dreams and to reach for the stars. Goal-setting, developing a realistic strategy and executing a doable plan become part of the mentor’s daily life.
Keep things in perspective. It is easy to get caught up in the dreams of our students. Mistakes happen, losses occur, dreams can be dashed. Our job is to help the student keep the problems in perspective. As stated earlier, dreams should be encouraged, but we must help our students with feedback, coaching and recognition. This is the beginning of trust and, when we can build trust and help our students grow (no matter the age of the student), incredible things happen.
It only takes a little effort to help someone. There is a story I heard recently from a friend about his 10-year-old daughter. They were downtown, had just gotten a take-out lunch, and were headed to a nearby park to eat outside. After witnessing a homeless person rummage through a garbage can, the little girl asked her parents if she could share her lunch with this lost person. The parents cautiously said yes and watched intently, yet with softened hearts, as their little girl went up to the homeless person and asked, “Would you like to share my lunch with me?” The two sat down on the edge of the curb and ate together. My question to all of us is: Where does a person learn to behave this way? The answer: We learn from people we trust who surround us every day. Enter the tennis-teaching professional, a person who works with the same students for years sometimes.
And, finally, I encourage you to
make a personal investment in someone. I will never forget the personal investment that one of my college professors made in me. It was a cold January day in the early 1970s. I had just gotten my final exam back in his kinesiology class (got an A – whew!) and Dr. Dillman asked me to sit down in his office. He then proceeded to encourage me. He knew I had played tennis at the university and had a keen interest in studying the game. He had done the same in track and field in his career. Professor Dillman said to me (and I can still hear these words today, even though they were spoken more than 30 years ago), “Jack, if you really apply yourself, you have the skills to make a difference in the game of tennis from a scientific perspective.” Now, I don’t know if I have totally lived up to Dr. Dillman’s expectations of me, but I can say this: I am very happy that this teacher made that personal investment in me. And, on top of that, Chuck Dillman is a good friend to this day and I thank my mentor every chance I get.
In summary, always ask yourself two questions:
(1) Who is (or are)
your mentor(s)?
(2) Who are you mentoring?</p>
Send questions to jgroppel@LGEPerformance.com.
